Growing up with domestic abuse: retrospective accounts

This chapter draws upon data from adults in the United Kingdom who lived in homes where there was domestic abuse when they were children. Much of what we know about childhood experiences of domestic abuse comes from mothers or professionals working with children. In the last decade a number of creative research projects have been undertaken to work with the children themselves. The children involved in these projects have often become known to services as a result of mothers leaving the abusive home and seeking support. Such studies provide invaluable insight and give the children a voice. However, many children who have grown up in a home where there is violence and abuse are never brought to the attention of services and so their voices remain unheard. The data drawn upon for this chapter comes from a retrospective study where adults were invited to reflect on their childhood experiences and their perception of how these experiences have influenced their adult lives. The experiences shared by our participants show that growing up in homes where there is domestic abuse has a long-lasting impact on their lives. The participants themselves, regardless of gender identification, overwhelmingly reported long-lasting negative outcomes, with respect to their future relationships (intimate or otherwise) and their mental health and wellbeing. A small number of participants stated that their negative childhood experiences had shaped them positively, giving them a determination to be better parents or partners themselves. Perhaps the most encouraging finding relates to school and their potential to identify, support and provide a haven for children.