“She punched, punched and scratched me while I was holding my children after we broke up”: Men’s experience of post-separation domestic abuse

There is a paucity of literature relating to male victims of intimate partner violence and their experiences post separation. This study explored men’s experiences of abuse after the end of a relationship using an anonymous online survey distributed via social media. The survey included questions of a demographic nature followed by a series of open-ended questions. A hundred and thirty men aged between 18 and 68 years participated. All participants were reporting on their experiences within opposite sex relationships. A thematic analysis identified four master themes (pre-separation abuse, post-separation abuse, abuse impact and help-seeking). The analysis revealed significant experiences of abuse occurring pre-separation, followed by accounts of post-separation abuse and the challenges men faced in terms of help seeking. The collection of pre-separation data helped to situate the post-separation experiences in the wider context of an existing abusive relationship and illustrated the impact of this across a range of experiential domains. We conclude that men’s experiences of physical abuse as well as coercive and controlling behaviour that exist pre-separation often continue post-separation, albeit changing and escalating through different mechanisms. Suggestions for future research and recommendations for practice have been identified.